Colt Cabana

In the 1950's, with the advent of television, pro wrestling exploded in households across the world. Since then, people have been able to sit down and watch pro wrestling in the comfort of their own home. It was said that even the Queen of England would be watching World of Sport every Saturday afternoon at 4. Like it or not, professional wrestling in all shapes and forms is a part of our crazy culture.

Somewhere in the last 60 years, comedy and wrestling have hybrid. I don't believe that George Hackenshmidt, Lou Thesz or Farmer Burns would have appreciated the sport of wrestling being used as a springboard for comedy. Fortunately for me (and Scotty Goldman's career?), it HAS!

It's brought us such doozies as...

Now, thanks to Jimmy Hart and some black dude who has way more money than I can ever dream of... THE TV, GIVES ALL OF US...

wrestlelicious

Please... Watch the first episode with me...

OK! OK! OK! I realize that maybe some of you know that YES!...This show is hilarious. The problem is, you just can't put your finger on why! Well.... That's what I'm here for.

I, Colt Cabana, will be honored and pleasured to break down the comedy stylings of... WRESTLICIOUS!

Jimmy Hart don't fuck around! Right off the bat we're treated to comedy gold.

Rich black dude asks Jimmy why he's in the kitchen, to which he responds... The Joke: "Somebody's gotta wash the dishes, baby!"

Now the line, "Someboy's gotta wash the dishes, baby" was so well planned, the whole audience broke out in laughter. How can you blame them, right? Legit... somebody does have to wash those dishes. The funny part though, is it's going to be Jimmy Hart. Get it... Jimmy Hart. Get it?!?! GOLD!

The Joke:
Rich Black Dude: "Hey Jimmy, Can you get the pool when you're done?"
Jimmy Hart: "You can clean the pool, ok?! I'm a Hall of Famer, I don't need this"

Holy Shit, the audience loved this and so did we, the viewer, at home. It wouldn't be funny if he was an actual pool cleaner or maybe even an average American citizen... but... HE'S JIMMY HART! He's a Hall of Famer! He doesn't clean pools... GET IT?!?! GET IT?!?! GOLD!

Kandi Kisses is rockin' out to her latest single:

Ok folks: Here comes the punchline. Actually.....she does punch him in the dick. Pretty awesome, no sarcasm. Lizzy's scene is saved by the good-ole dickpunch...

OH SHIT.....AUTUMN FROST 3:16

Cousin Cassie goes to the OPTOMETRIST!!!

So Cassie's at the Doctor. He looks legit.....He's old and he has glasses. Not only that, he seems to have the official 1945 instruments in-order to give a proper eye exam. THE JOKE: "Need Glasses? I don't believe in them....NO...I drink straight outta the bottle."

COME ON YOU OLD FUCK....YOU'RE AN OPTOMOTRIST....How can you not know she's talking about spectacles. You've been practicing optometry for the past 65 years. You probably invented Trifocals. You're telling me that you really, for a fucking second, thought she was talking about DRINKING GLASSES.......?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??! GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... Get it?!?!.... Get it?!?!?

"OK Kid. This is your big shot at being a TV star. We're gonna put the camera on you for a long time. All we need you to do is just act upset AND DON'T....DON'T.... WHATEVER YOU DO....DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA!!!!!!"

"great....you're doing sooooo great....."

"Come on...ARE YOU KIDDING...is it that hard?!?!"

To put it in perspective.... First there was Saturday Night Live Then there were shows like In Living Color, Seinfeld and The Chappelle Show. They can now all take a backseat to the next wave of COMEDIC TV.... WRESTLICIOUS.

I guess the last question is who's the true comedy star? Who stood out? Who's the true genius behind the comedy gold????????

Was it the announcer for calling this move a "REVERSE COWGIRL"?

Was it the creepy ref for giving a DOUBLE MOTOR BOAT in the middle of a match? (sorry Bryce)

Was it random rich black guy?

ok...ok...It had to be the comedic stylings of Jimmy Hart...Right? Right?

Well, You're all wrong. I think anyone who watched the whole show realized that the true star and COMEDIC LEGEND of the very first Wrestlicious show was this guy.....

COLT CABANA
@DrColtCabana

Colt Cabana can be booked for
*Wrestling
*Conventions
*Comedy
AT:
ColtWrestling@gmail.com

I'm not as rich as the black dude.
Help support me, I got fired from WWE and I'm an independent wrestler.
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